Feelings vs Emotions: What’s the Real Difference?

I was prepping for a coaching session the other day—one of those deeper ones where we talk about trapped emotions, the stuff that gets in the way of us taking action.

And as I was going through it, I noticed that both “emotions” and “feelings” kept coming up. Almost interchangeably.

Then I had this moment of, “Wait… if someone asked me what the actual difference is—would I even know how to explain it?”

Honestly? I wasn’t sure.

So I did what I do when something nags at me—I went looking for answers. And this little rabbit hole turned into something way more interesting than I expected.

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So what is the difference?

I always thought a feeling was just the sensation in the body.

Like: “I feel hungry.”

And then the emotion was the label we gave it—like: “The emotion I’m feeling is sadness.”

But nope. Apparently, it’s actually the other way around.

Turns out, emotion comes first.

It’s your body’s biological response to something—it’s fast, instinctive, often unconscious.

Then comes the feeling—that’s your brain trying to make sense of what just happened in your body. That’s where you start labeling it: “I feel irritated,” “I feel anxious,” “I feel proud.”

Here’s how it breaks down:

EMOTION (instinctive, biological)	FEELING (conscious interpretation)
Anger	Frustrated, irritated, resentful
Fear	Anxious, nervous, insecure
Sadness	Lonely, disappointed, hopeless
Joy	Content, excited, peaceful
Surprise	Startled, confused, curious
Disgust	Repulsed, uneasy, uncomfortable

It’s subtle, but it matters.

Because we often try to manage the feeling without understanding the emotion underneath it.

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What does this look like in real life?

Here’s how I’m seeing it now, especially in coaching:

• Circumstance — Something happens. Just a fact. It’s neutral until we give it meaning.

• Emotion — Your body reacts first. It’s quick and unconscious.

• Thought — Your brain jumps in and creates a story about what just happened.

• Feeling — That thought shapes what you consciously experience in your body.

• Action — You behave based on how you feel.

• Result — You create an outcome, and that outcome loops back and reinforces the thought.

And here’s the thing:

The only parts you can NOT control are the circumstance and the emotion.

But everything else—thought, feeling, action, result—that’s where your power lives.

When you understand this, it changes how you coach, how you respond, and how you show up for yourself.

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Why does this matter?

This part really got me thinking…

Are there only a few emotions we actually experience—just expressed in a thousand different ways?

And yes—most research says there are just a few core emotions we’re all wired to feel, no matter who we are or where we come from:

• Anger

• Fear

• Sadness

• Joy

• Disgust

• Surprise

(Some researchers throw in Trust and Anticipation, but the core idea stays the same.)

But feelings?

That’s where it gets messy and beautifully human. Because feelings are shaped by our thoughts, beliefs, memories, culture, language—everything that makes us who we are.

So two people might feel the same emotion but describe it in totally different ways.

One says “I feel irritated”, the other says “I feel disrespected”, the other says “I feel off today.”

Same root emotion. Different story attached to it.

And this line really stuck with me:

“We keep chasing complex language to describe how we feel—but underneath it all, the body only knows a few core truths. Emotions are universal. Feelings are the stories we tell ourselves about them.” - ChatGPT

So now I’m just sitting with that.

And asking myself—and maybe you too…

What emotions are showing up for you lately? And what stories have you been telling yourself about them?

Want to explore how emotions impact your leadership?

Download the Leadership Readiness Guide for tools that help you build clarity, confidence, and emotional insight.

Or if you're ready to go deeper, book your first coaching session with me to understand your root 'why' you do everything that you do. Email: support@well-ledworkplaces.com.au

Thank you for taking the time to understand more about you,